It took me awhile to finally get up the courage to call a midwife.
Even though it seems to be the general consensus that contacting one before even getting pregnant is a good idea, I had difficulty with thinking I’d be wasting her time.
Really, it was a front.
I was afraid she’d tell me she wouldn’t take me.
I was afraid to get my hopes up, but even more afraid for that fledgling hope to be completely crushed.
I was afraid of what would happen if we didn’t feel comfortable with her, since she’s the only one close who is truly comfortable with (and can legally attend) a VBAC at home. There was a lot of pressure for this phone call and meeting to go well.
But I got over it. We talked over the phone briefly and she invited Jake and I (and whoever else wanted to come) down for a consultation.
At an hour away from her office, I’m at the limits of where she is willing to travel, but she is willing to take me on!
We talked about my previous births. About why I would need to transfer to an OB: multiples, gestational diabetes requiring insulin, pre-eclampsia, pain at my incision site between contractions, excessive bleeding during labor, true fetal distress, I ask to be transferred.
Besides her actually being willing to attend my homebirth, I feel very confident that she is the best fit for me and my family.
It is very important to me that my care provider is familiar with what I’ve been through, that they are comfortable with current medical technology as well as natural methods. And as a CNM (certified nurse midwife) she has had extensive experience attending births in hospitals, birth centers, and at home.
I’m still a bit nervous about getting my house as clean as I want it anytime in the next 25 years, much less by the time I’m ready to birth a baby, but if that’s the worst of my worries then I guess I’m doing ok.
Take that back, the worst of my worries is how my parents and grandparents will respond and what kind of support, or lack thereof, I will get from them. But that’s in God’s hands.
This is one huge step down the road to a HBA2C, slow and steady, walking it out.
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